God's Love

Through this experience we have learned so many things.  This has been a life changing experience for our family.  This process is so much more than just an ear.  One of the many things we have learned is that God is aware of us, even more so than we realize.

As we've watched our baby girl endure what has proven to be the hardest experience of her life, we can't help but wonder if the path we have chosen is right.  As her parents, we have her very best interest at heart.  If we didn't honestly believe that this would be the best thing for her, never in a million years would we have pursued this journey.  Our hearts ache as we watch her endure pain, fear, and a range of emotions but we also see the goodness & value of the end result.  We know that through this pain, fear, and hardship that good things are to come.  We know that in the end we will say that it was indeed worth it.

This has been on my mind a lot lately.  We believe in a God who loves us deeply and perfectly.  Just as we stand by Kambri's side during this process, we know that God is there for each one of us.  He knows that life sometimes down right sucks, sometimes it's painful, sometimes it doesn't go exactly as planned and sometimes we don't think we can handle one more minute.  But we also know that He sees the bigger picture.  He sees the end result.  He sees that our hardship, fear and pain will be worth it.  He sees that good things are to come.

I can't help but imagine him at our side, coaxing us along, offering words of encouragement and praise.  He allows the hardship to come because he sees the growth that it will provide.  That doesn't mean that he sits back and waits for us to fail.  He rejoices with us in our victories and mourns with us in our sorrow.  Just as we refuse to leave Kambri's side in the hardest moments of her journey, He also refuses to leave our side in this journey through life.  When Moses and his people were fleeing from Egypt, God didn't move the Red Sea out of their way, he opened it and they went through it.  It is the same today, He allows us to walk through our hardships instead of simply moving them out of our way and it is a beautiful thing.  Most often, the very hardest experiences of life are the very moments that we wouldn't trade for anything.  We are grateful for a loving God who is allowing us this great opportunity for growth!

February 23, 2016

We sent her back to school today.  With her pain under control (she's completely off all meds!) & her ability to stand mostly upright we decided that she was ready.  She was excited to go back.  I walked her into the classroom this morning to talk to her teacher.  I was humbled as we walked the halls and students of all ages greeted her & welcomed her back to school.  She came home happy to report that Mrs. Hunsaker (another 1st grade teacher) yelled with excitement when she saw her.  A simple act of kindness goes a long way.  I worried for years about public school but every one of my concerns has been proven wrong.  We live in a great community and are surrounded by the best of the best.  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!

Dr. Muntz's plan worked and tonight the gauze finally came off which means we got our first good look at the skin graft.  It actually looks a lot better than I expected.  As I mentioned before, there was a minor complication during surgery so it ended up being twice the size it should've been.  It should be minimal scaring.  Dr. Muntz told us that he used to tell his patients that it just feels like road rash when you fall of your bike.  Then he crashed on his bike and was reminded just how bad road rash hurts.  Now he tells them, "it feels like road rash when you fall of your bike!!!" :).

I had a preschool mom bring some things for anti-nausea for our ride home after surgery next time.  Another preschool mom brought a variety of essential oils to help with healing.  Another card came from great-grandma Page (#2 this week!).  Comments on Facebook & Instagram are flooding in.   I continue to be amazed at the generosity of people.  I've had many people ask to share her blog with family & friends.  I wish I had the ability to individually thank every single person who has helped us in this journey, even if you are simply following along you have made a difference.   THANK YOU for offering strength & encouragement! 

February 22, 2016

We had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Muntz this afternoon.

In preparation for countless trips to Salt Lake, we sold our gas hog SUV last year and bought a car.  With gas prices low & great gas mileage it has been a huge blessing, especially with medical bills mounting.

We love Dr. Muntz!  He is a fantastic doctor.  Kambri is warming up to him with every visit.  He removed the stitches and the bolster (the part that was holding the skin graft in place) from behind the ear.  That was painful for her, poor thing.  Oh how I wish I could take her pain away.  We've been discussing bravery a lot this week at our house.  She's convinced that she isn't brave because she sometimes cries.  You have no idea just how brave you are little one!!  You are braver than any 6 year old girl should have to be.  

Over the next few weeks as the swelling goes down the ear will pop into proper position.  Although we are thrilled about this process, it is going to take some time for us to adjust to it.  It's different.  It has changed her looks and that has been harder for us to accept than I expected.  She doesn't like to look at it and to tell you the truth, it's really hard for me too.  We just keep reminding ourselves that in the end she will be able to hear and that makes it all worth it!

We've been trying for 2 days to remove the gauze from the skin graft with no luck.  It is still stuck.  As the Larsen family would say dang stuck ;).  Dr. Muntz couldn't get it off either so he smothered it in ointment and put another piece of gauze on top of it.  The hope is that the ointment will seep through and will release it from the wound.  I never would've guessed that the skin graft would be the most painful part of this surgery.  Two of the hardest surgeries are out of the way, the next two should be a breeze in comparison.

And of course, we couldn't take a trip to Primary's without coming home with some sort of prize.  For all that she's been through, she deserves to be a little spoiled.

(we are going to be collecting items throughout the year & will be donating prizes to Primary Children's Hospital for other children to enjoy at Christmas time if anyone is interested in joining us)

We've been the recipients of so many acts of kindness and we are extremely grateful.  There are no words to describe the gratitude and overwhelming love we feel.  We are grateful for the many prayers offered in her behalf.  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!  THANK YOU!

February 20, 2016

Miss Kambri had a pretty good day yesterday.  We spread her pain meds out a little and she did quite well.  She joined her class for reading groups (via face time) and was disappointed to find out that Mrs. Duersch had a sub so she wouldn't be joining them for phonics and math.  School on Thursday was a great boredom buster for her.  She's anxious to get back to the classroom.

Today has been rough.  Today was the day to remove the bandage on her skin graft and for the first time she was allowed to get in the tub.  Her ear cannot get wet so we had to be creative to wash her hair.  It took Jared and I both (with a plastic cup over her ear) to get at least most of her hair washed.  It was a bit of a circus, but it's got to feel good to be clean again.

When we got her out of the tub, we were able to get the adhesive part of the bandage off fairly easily.   The medicated gauze underneath however is a different story.  The skin is very tender and bleeds every time we touch it.  It is very painful for poor Kambri as we try to remove it.  Little by little we've been able to get a good chunk of it off.  Part of it though, is stuck.  Really stuck.  We've soaked it with a wet wash cloth all afternoon to no avail.  It is so painful that she screams & tears stream down her face when we even touch it.  It's hard to watch your little one hurt.

February 18, 2016

Kambri had a much better day today!  No more puking, no more blood and she was able to go to the bathroom so she is feeling like a new woman.  We are cutting back on pain meds and Motrin & Tylenol seem to be doing the trick.  The skin graft site is very, very tender and she is very protective of it.  Her ear is tender but it stays well protected by the cup. 

Kambri has missed a lot of school because of surgeries & appointments.  She was sick last week and missed 3 days of school.  We've done our best to stay ahead of homework but it adds up in a hurry.  They accomplish a lot in a day in 1st grade.  Her teacher, Mrs. Duersch, is fantastic and had the great idea to face time during phonics and math.  Today was the first time we tried it and I'd call it a success!  She was so happy to see her classmates.  She is excited to face time again tomorrow.

Visitors: Great-Grandma Page, Sheila & Ellie Mogle

February 17, 2016

I woke up yesterday morning at 2 am with nerves & it was an emotionally exhausting day so when my head hit the pillow just after 11 pm last night, I was out for the count.  It seemed like only a moment before the alarm rang for her next round of meds.  Luckily she is a champ & went right back to sleep after each dose during the night.  We were both exhausted but were able to keep her pain under control.

I called the Resident Doctor last night when there was fresh blood leaking from the bandage of the skin graft site.  They instructed me to reinforce the bandage with gauze, so that's what we did.  This morning it was again bloody.  I called Dr. Muntz and he told me to again reinforce it and to put pressure on it for 10 minutes.  Two hours later there was more blood.  The blood is stressing Kambri out.  I turned to my trusty nurse friend Megan who confirmed that it was nothing to be too concerned about.  It has lightened throughout the day.

The medicine is making her nauseous & a little constipated which made for another rough day.  We are staying on top of her pain though so that is good news.

Tate has a fever today so he spent the whole day tucked in right next to her.  He loves having her home!  Her brothers are very tender with her.  I love watching the boys (& men) in this house melt over her.

She walks likes she's 105, it makes me smile every time she gets up.  Tonight she's straightened up a little and moves a bit faster.

THANK YOU for all of the prayers on Kambri's behalf.  We feel them and are forever grateful.

Visitors: the beehives (young women from our church) & leaders, Peter & Amy Nielson, Megan Anderson, Nicki Latimer, Jen Souter & her girls, aunt Melissa & the whole crew

Meals: Mindy Hilton, Lytton & Ashley Bastian

February 16, 2016 - Stage 2

Jared's time off is limited, he was home sick two days last week so we decided that since this surgery was outpatient, there was no reason for him to come sit in a waiting room all day.  We recruited Grandma Larsen to join us.

We pulled her out of bed at 6:30 am and hit the road.  Of course we were traveling during morning rush hour so we were glad we had given ourselves a little bit of extra time.

Fasting was much easier this go around.  It helped that she only had to wait until 10:30 instead of 2:30.  Not one complaint this time.

She was much happier overall this time.  I think it helped that she knew what to expect and it was familiar.  

Her dad has been teasing her about all the ways that Dr. Muntz was going to pop out her ear...like hitting her really hard on the opposite side of the head or sticking an air gun in her good ear and filling it up until it pops.  Grandma was full of jokes today too.  Things like...what to do if she woke up and realized that we forgot to take her home with us or what if Dr. Muntz accidentally rearranged her face instead of fixing her ear.

We were pretty excited when we got the same pre-op Nurse Practitioner that we had last time.  Mrs. Purple got her name because of her stethoscope, Mr. Purple.  Kambri was excited to tell her all about it and it made her day.

While we were in the second waiting room, they brought her a doll that she got to color & take along for surgery.  She named her Ella.  The blue hair is my favorite.

At 10:31 am I signed the last documents and walked her down the hall to once again send her off into the all too familiar operating room.   

Last time she chose Strawberry scented anesthesia.  This time she chose Cotton Candy and reported that it was even better.

They told us that surgery would be 60-90 minutes so when they paged me after almost 2 hours I was relieved that they were finally finished.  It was the OR Nurse, he reported that things weren't going quite as planned and that they would need another hour.  That hour was the longest of the 3 hour wait.  An old friend walked in to the waiting room during that time so we spent some time catching up which helped to pass the time.

Finally Dr. Muntz walked in and I could've kissed his face.  He reported that things went well.  There was a minor complication with the skin graft (from just below her panty line) and they had to do it twice, making it twice the size as expected but we can deal with that.

We finally made it to the recovery room just as she was coming out of the anesthesia.  Her pain level was high and her oxygen levels dropped low.  They gave her every drop of pain meds she was allowed.  Once we got her pain under control her oxygen levels came back up to normal.  I had in my mind that because this was a less invasive & outpatient surgery that it would be easier, I was wrong.  It's been a really rough day for the poor girl.

My heart sank when I saw her ear.  What have we done?!  I turned to my mom and asked, "what if I hate it?".  Then the nurse proceeded to explain that the ear is folded & stitched in half right now, kind of rolled up like a Cinnamon Roll, which relieved my anxiety.  I was nervous that this was our end result and I was thinking oh man, we should've just left it alone.  I felt much better after I understood that.

 ****Viewer Discretion Advised****

It took us a little longer than expected but we were finally ready to go home.  She was feeling nauseous which made all of us anxious for a long car ride home.  Luckily she fell asleep just outside of Salt Lake and slept all the way home.

It was a hard day for her daddy.  It was a lot harder for him to be away than he expected.  He won't be missing any more surgeries.  Lesson learned.  He greeted her with a bouquet of Frozen balloons.  He knows the way to her heart.