Today is the big day! Surgery #6! On one hand we are so beyond ready to be done but on the other we can't believe that we are here at the end of this process. What a year it has been!
The anticipation prior to surgery never get easier for any of us. There is a wide range of emotion that accompanies each and every surgery. Today's surgery will determine if it was all worth it. It's quite invasive as they drill the skull to make an ear canal and connect all the dots to make the ear function.
They told us originally that surgery wouldn't even begin until after 3 pm which she immediately panicked about because that would mean that she would have to miss breakfast
and lunch
and dinner. We were relieved when they called yesterday to tell us that there was a cancellation so it would be between 12-1 pm. It's still a long day for a tiny, starving tummy but we have to check-in early so that helps to pass the time.
Check-in time was 10:45 am at University of Utah hospital. It is a fantastic hospital but there is definitely a difference from PMCH. We had to laugh when they brought her a coloring book from which she got to choose 1 page, it wasn't a big deal just so different from Primary's who provides a whole new coloring book (& a million other activities) each time.
{watching life flight come in - our hearts ache for those families every time it lands}
She was pretty nervous so the anesthesiologist decided to give her a little something to help her relax before taking her back to the OR. She got quite silly and very chatty. She had us laughing. By the time it had fully kicked in, she was just babbling mumbles that we couldn't understand.
When they came to take her away she started to cry which just about rips my mom heart out every single time. We sent her away with tears streaming down her cheeks at 1 pm. It's hard to watch your heart be wheeled away to the operating room. Even though we've done this many times, the emotion is always the same. I'm grateful to have Jared by my side, he is my rock.
The wait is always long. We always start our wait in the cafeteria with a bite to eat. We opted to walk over to PMCH to the cafeteria, we hear the food is better (it's still hospital food) and their prices are a little nicer on the pocketbook. As an added bonus it's familiar to us. We laughed as we ate because we had hours and hours to wait yet we both felt rushed and an urgency to get back to the waiting room.
We got an update early into surgery, that she had been emotional but that she was now peacefully sleeping and they had started the procedure. We are always grateful for updates.
Time seems to crawl in the waiting room. My heart literally aches in my chest the whole time. I always bring things to work on to help pass the time but I always have a hard time focusing on anything else. We both do. We received many messages & comments on Instagram that lifted us as we waited so thank you!
They told us that they would give us a mid-surgery update but it never came so imagine our relief when 4 1/2 hours later (surgery was scheduled for 3 hours) Dr. Shelton walked into the room. The first words out of his mouth were about how complicated it had been and he mentioned that over and over again as he spoke. Apparently her facial nerve is located in a weird spot and it is attached to the bone. He was able to separate the nerve from the bone but warned us of the increased possibility of facial paralysis. He told us to watch in the coming weeks and if we see any changes that we need to see him immediately. He then proceeded to draw a diagram on the leg of his scrubs as he explained that her ear bones (the ossicles) were deformed and would not function properly so they had to put in a prosthesis and also created an ear drum. We knew this was a possibility but somehow, although we were prepared for these results, we felt like we had been sucker punched in that moment. Many times we've heard results that have been hard for us to process, the emotions are impossible to express in word and this time was no different.
As always the next part of the wait is always the very longest. We know that she is in post-op and we are just waiting to be called back to be with her. I don't know how to describe what that part of the wait feels like but it's as if I go into zombie mode. My heart aches and I can do nothing but stare and wonder and pray.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love a good sunset. Just moments after the doctor had walked away I received a picture of a beautiful sunset with beautiful words of encouragement from a dear friend. I also received a text from our good Bishop. It's little things like this that carry us through. Thank you to those of you who reached out to us, we are grateful for your support!
Today's wait was longer than usual and the nurse tried to prepare us for what we were about to encounter but I brushed it off because
I know how she comes out of anesthesia, we have done this 8 times in her 7 years. As we walked into the Post-Op we could hear her screams echoing down the halls and I realized that today was different than all of the other times. Usually she is a little irritable but quiet mostly, today she was thrashing and screaming uncontrollably. Everyone in that wing could hear her. I thought if we held her hands and whispered in her ear that she might calm down but that didn't help. Alligator tears rolled down her cheeks and mine. I sent a text immediately to our families that simply read, "please pray, it's not going well" and I know within moments they were on their knees pleading for a miracle. It was probably only 20 minutes but it felt like forever before the miracle came and they were able to get her pain under control. We aren't sure why it was different this time but I do know it was absolutely heart-wrenching to watch.
I love that they dressed her owl for the operating room. Kambri, not so much. She made me undress it as soon as she was coherent enough to to notice.
We were able to get her calmed down enough to move to recovery. She only had one bout of nauseousness this time around. Once she was able to eat a popsicle and some crackers she was ready to go home. She asked about a thousand times if we could go home so we were grateful when we got the ok.
I got to sit in the wheelchair and hold her on our way out. I recounted the details of the day to her and told her what the doctor had said. She took it well. To my relief she had already forgotten the trauma in post-op.
She was quite sure that she was going to wither away from starvation and requested chicken nuggets & ice cream so that's just what she got. We were greeted when we got home (just after 9 pm) by my mom and Ellie (Kambri's cousin) with a warm dinner. We are so grateful for the many prayers offered, the words of encouragement and support given, the acts of service performed and the love we've felt. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you!
